Monday, June 13, 2011

Self- Exploration: Confidence

"It's not who you are that holds you back. It's who you think you're not" - Author Unknown

The older I've gotten the more I contemplate what makes us each successful, well developed individuals. I think one of the main keys to personal development is CONFIDENCE.

The thing that makes it so tough is that we aren't always confident all the time. Additionally, {I'm using those grade school transitions they drilled into my brain all the way through college, ya like it?}

Crap. Where was I?

Oh. Additionally.

Additionally, we can be confident in some areas and not in others, and in fact, those areas change.  We may be internally confident with who we are or our performance in a certain area or with our talent but may doubt others confidence in us or opinions of us.

For example {there's another one}, I grew up singing.  I'm comfortable saying there is some raw ability or talent there. Of course, I chose to develop that talent. My voice is something that I was very confident with when singing alone and no lie, I could rock some socks off {not anymore though, I kind of let it go by the wayside and I most definitely regret that}. In public or around people (even my closest friends) my confidence evaded me and I never could perform as well as I did by myself. In fact, my lack of confidence around others hindered my progression.

I auditioned for the school musical all four years. I got parts, but never a lead until my senior year in high school. That also happens to be the year that I said "SCREW THEM, I'm doing this for myself." I got one of the lead roles. When I did what I knew I could do and didn't worry about what they thought. I just went for it. It paid off.

I had a lot of self esteem and confidence issues growing up. That may come as a shocker. Believe me, it's true. In fact, the majority of my confidence in myself has come in the last 4-5 years. Sad, I know.

I reflect back on all the things I know I could have done so much better had I only believed in myself a little more. If I had only stopped comparing myself to other people and yet at the same time realized that most of the time we all  are better at something than someone else, and equally true, there is always someone who is better at it than us. The key, I think, is to use that knowledge and DEVELOP the talent, personality trait or what not that we want and then practice and use it to maintain our confidence and ability.

When we worry about what others may think of us it lessens our confidence in ourselves in all aspects. Doubt settles in. Whether it be standing up for our beliefs, pursuing or publicly displaying a talent, our appearance or anything else you can think of.

{Keep in mind I'm a total hypocrite. There are aspects in my life that I think entirely too much of what other people think. I'm workin' on it...}

There are always others that can benefit from our knowledge and always other people from whom we can benefit. If we all hold ourselves back because we lack the confidence to take the leap, than we would all be mediocre.

What gives me the confidence to keep pushing through and discovering new talents and developing them?

Answer: The knowledge that I am a child of God. Heavenly Father does not do mediocre. We are all endowed with talents and infinite worth in his eyes. It makes me sad to see when people don't realize how incredibly special they really are and as a result don't reach their full potential. Or worse, don't even try to reach their potential.

My Papa used to always tell me "Remember who you are", every time I left the house to go somewhere. I never realized what he meant so I always replied with a smirk "Kylee Suzanne Newton". He'd rebut with "You know what I mean"... but I didn't. Until one random day it hit me. I don't even remember when, I just remember thinking how dense I had been, not to realize the obvious.

So. Remember who you are; A child of God. Have confidence in yourself, and if you don't, work towards gaining that confidence. It makes for happier people and allows us to share in each others talents and learn and grow from each other. Isn't that why we're here anyway!

Just some things I've been thinking about recently.

One more quote I like "People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within." - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

The End.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for sharing! Oh and how do you have time to think let alone write with a newborn and two other little ones?! Makes me feel very lazy. Wait, I think I missed the whole point of your blog. :)