Friday, November 11, 2011


I sit here in my living room in the quiet. The baby is sleeping and Trevor and Bailey are at Gramma's house. I feel lonely and I miss them. Like CRAZY.

Not so long ago I yearned to have some free time, to get a break. Maybe I'm just really starting to embrace my role as a stay at home mom, or maybe I've just learned to cope with the stress and overwhelmingness...

{yes, that is a word. Check the dictionary. If you can't find it, it's probably because you don't have the same dictionary as me... just sayin'}

...that comes with having three small kids all day everyday. I used to think MAN, I can't wait until these kids go off to college. I'm pretty sure I might shrivel up and cease to exist when that happens... don't get me wrong, I'm sure I'll embrace my newfound  free time and productivity when that time comes... but man... will I miss them.

I also used to want to travel and live in new places and see the country and the world. That has changed as of late too. I pretty much just want to be near my family. Maybe that's because I've lost several family members in the last few years and I'm afraid to miss the time I have with them, or maybe I'm just maturing and discovering that you can't get lost time back.

Who knows? It's fascinating to me though the way that we morph in life as we grow and learn, our values change, as do the things that are important to us. Life is fleeting. You don't get a redo. Make your moments count. When your pissed off at someone, ask yourself how important it really is going to be in the long run... or better yet, how would you feel if you lost that person and didn't get to rectify what went wrong. I'm starting to grasp that importance. Don't get me wrong, I still have a temper... but I don't hold grudges the way I used to.

Once again, interesting how out perspectives morph... like this blog post... that I didn't really plan on being what it turned into... but, it is what it is.

On that note, I'm so grateful for my family and friends. One thing I have never lacked is supportive and loving and amazing friends and family. Thank you, for being you and being there for me. I love and appreciate you all.

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