Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Food for thought...

It's about 10:50 p.m. I just finished making cupcakes for my daughter's Pre-K class. It takes a little longer, because I have to make a second batch of icing for Bailey and Trevor. Which is fine... I made cupcakes at her birthday that they could eat and froze them... so it wasn't much to whip up the icing.

Though clean up was awful. I learned an important lesson tonight.

DO NOT sift sugar {or anything} into a plastic bowl. There is this thing called STATIC ELECTRICITY and it makes that crap fly up and settle EVVVERYWHERE.


Anyway, as I'm whipping up their nasty icing {which they love because it's made of SUGAR}, I had the thought...

"Why is it, that I'm willing to stay up late making cupcakes for her, but I find it so damn difficult to reign in my temper and have more patience with her?" This obviously applies to all of them, I just have the most trouble keeping myself in check with her... but once again, let's not get into to the ridiculous, awful guilt I feel every second for that.

Anyway, I'm not sure if it's because it's easier to show her I love her in those concrete ways, or to make up for all the yelling, or because I like eating cupcakes {I've had 3 tonight.. no I'm not kidding... I have a problem.}, or because she gets so excited over simple things like cupcakes, the fact that I see SO SO much of myself in her and end up having childhood flashbacks, and even though I know she can't help it half the time... I still lose it on her, or that I just want to feel less terrible, or how about that it's just flipping WAY easier, or that we just all do what we can do and then try again tomorrow.

I don't know...

But it made me wonder why... and it also occurred to me, that Satan is right there playing to our weaknesses... mine is lack of patience, yelling and my mouth... let's not pretend that I don't cuss like a sailor half the time... I'm a work in progress, don't judge.

Anyway, there he is... knowing our weaknesses, and I forget that. A LOT. I also forget to rely on my Heavenly Father to buoy me up in those moments.

So tomorrow is a new day, filled with cupcakes and good times... I guess I will just try not to ruin it for any of us!

Who knew cupcakes could provoke such thoughts? Not I, said the cat.