Thursday, November 29, 2012

Beautiful Imperfections


Christmas is in full swing in the Shaw household {and everywhere, really}. Tree up- check, Our family Elf on the Shelf Oswald {Ozzie} is in town- check, shopping done-almost check, lights up-check.

I let Bailey help me decorate the tree this year. No big deal, right? WRONG. Those who know me well, know that I can be a perfectionist, to say the least. I like walking in and seeing things pretty and realizing the pictures in my head.

The kids are getting old enough that I thought, it's time they get to participate. {I let Bailey help with the tree while the others napped. It's all my nerves could take}.

I'm not going to lie, it drives me dang near INSANE to see that tree look like its been ransacked, {it looks much worse now, than it did in those pictures} literally gives me anxiety if I think about it for too long.

However, when I look at it I also think it's beautiful. She was so proud of herself for putting on the ornaments by herself and stringing the bead garland on. It's memories like this that she will remember when she is grown. She will {hopefully} be grateful she got to be a part of holiday decorating, without me harping at her about doing it all wrong... even though I felt the urge constantly. It's those memories that will inspire her to share and make her own memories, when she has her own children.

I'm grateful that my mom included us in these things. I'm glad she put forth the effort, it takes a lot of patience, that I just don't have. She does it with my kids, too. That quality time makes such a difference. Seriously, My kids are different kids when they are out at my moms.

 I need to be better at it. I remember decorating the tree and stringing popcorn and cranberry garlands {and eating the popcorn off}, baking treats, making decorations {snowflakes, dough ornaments, etc}, and Dollar Store shopping for each other, to name a few.

The inclusion created/creates an anticipation of the season and helps it to feel magical for kids. I get lazy with the Santa facade sometimes and just want to tell them the truth. Then I remember the many Christmas Eves my brothers  and I would spend wide awake, going back and forth between our rooms and taking turns checking the tree, to see if Santa had come and snooping to see if we could tell what he had brought us, in just the dim colored lights of the Christmas Tree, and without making the set up look disturbed {close longest run-on sentence, ever}.  Some of the better memories I have from my often contentious childhood are during the holidays and I treasure them.

Those memories are much more beautiful than a picture perfect Christmas tree and/or decorations... and they make the lurking panic attack go away.

I'm making it a point to include the kids more and be more pleasant.I'm trying not to worry about the insignificant and focus on what matters... quality time. I'm not always successful, but I get an E for the effort, right?? RIGHT??

Go make some memories!

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