Wednesday, September 11, 2013

A Fourth Watch God.

This is me, promising you one post a week. I'm not going to guarantee any more than that though... we shall see. So, hold me accountable!

There has been A LOT going on this year. I've been tapped out and barely surviving. Things are starting to look up. Addie my 1 year old {whom I haven't posted pictures of in MONTHS} is finally down to only waking up once or twice a night and is down to about 4 nursing sessions a day. Callen is finally going to bed easily again, as is Trevor. Bailey is back and school. Trevor is down to monthly feeding therapy appointments, YAHOOO!!!! This is huge... it only took two years, but I'll take it! Also, Trevor will be starting full time pre-school soon, in the hopes that we can get his behavior under control.

So, I should have a little more time on my hands! I also just launched my photography business, which I'm really, really excited about!

So, I feel like things are looking up! It gives me hope and some rejuvenation! I've been in a pretty bad place for a while now... about six years. I have lots of ideas, and lots of half written blogs. I just never have much time for finishing my thoughts, let alone writing them down.

I actually went on a date ALONE, with my husband for the first time in about 8-9 months. Maybe even longer.

Anyway... I wanted to share this with you. A while ago I came across this talk at a BYU devotional, called "Bread or Stones: Understanding the God We Pray to" by S. Michael Wilcox.

To get to my point he says
"Now we need to understand something about our Father in Heaven, and that is that He is a fourth watch God. 

The Hebrew night was divided into four watches. The first watch—six o’clock at night to nine [p.m.], second watch—nine to midnight, third watch—midnight to three in the morning, fourth watch—three in the morning to sunrise.  Sometimes that creates a bit of a problem for us, certainly for me. I worship a fourth watch God. One who tends to feel that it is good to let His children toil in rowing against the wind to face a little opposition." ...

"I began to make some assumptions that are often dangerous to make—maybe you make the same. We begin to assume that, number one, He is not there. That is why He’s not responding. And then we calm down and understand that He is there; He is always there. Then the second assumption is if He is there, He must not be listening. And then again, in calmer times—He always listens. Well then the third assumption is He must not care. No—He’s there, He listens, He cares. Maybe the most dangerous assumption, the fourth assumption is I must not be worthy. Now that fourth assumption we are probably correct on. But when has that ever stopped Him from responding; we are as worthy as we can be. We must assume that we have not yet reached the fourth watch; and He is a fourth watch God."...

We worship a fourth watch God. So when the trials aren’t over and the blessings don’t come, don’t assume that He is not there, or He is not listening, or He doesn’t care, or you’re not worthy. Always assume you have not yet reached the fourth watch.
Now occasionally people have said to me, “I’m sure I’m past the fourth watch.” I was once talking with Sheri Dew and she said later, “Mike, I think I’m in the ninth watch—now what?” Well, when you feel that you have passed the fourth watch, then we need another letter.  We need another letter called Tight like a Dish. Now that is an expression I think you all will understand—‘Tight like a dish.’ It’s the description of the Jaredite barges.
Now I have a tendency, because I’m an English major, to edit almost everything I read. It’s just a habit I can’t get out of with whatever I read—textbooks, newspapers, novels, biographies—I’m always editing. I edit the scriptures as I’m reading them. There are actually times where I say, “Lord, I could fix this verse for you if you would like me to.” And one of the verses that I used to think I would edit is Ether chapter two, the seventeenth verse; the description of the Jaredite barges. Can you realize what word I might write if I were editing this? This is how it reads: 
“They were built after a manner that they were exceedingly tight, even that they would hold water like unto a dish”—that’s once. “And the bottom thereof was tight like unto a dish”—twice. “And the sides thereof were tight like unto a dish”—three times. “And the ends thereof were peaked; and the top thereof was tight like unto a dish; and the length thereof was the length of a tree; and the door thereof, when it was shut, was tight like unto a dish”—five times." 

  It offered me so much hope and perspective.  I spend most days thinking I'm far beyond the fourth watch, and hoping against hope that things don't get any worse, but tugging along, despite everything. Not that I have it so badly, and that many, many people don't have it much worse... it's out there. I/we have had our fair share though.

My point is, I feel like the fourth watch has finally come for our family. Things are starting to get a little easier. Still hard, but easIER... and I'll take what I can get.

Go read this talk. It's really lengthy, but it is SO SO good. You will be so glad you did, whether you are LDS or not.  In fact, I think I'm going to go read it again. It's been about a year.

So, I will be better at posting. Thanks for your understanding and patience, and for reading and putting up with my rants and quirks. I appreciate it more than you know :)

Peace out!

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